1, When I want investment advice, I get it from:
a) The Wall Street Journal b) The Street Dogs column c) Complete strangers at the video store.
2. When I wake up in the morning, I:
a) Shower b) Get dressed c) Lift my head off the keyboard and start shorting stocks.
3. In order to trade stocks intelligently, one must have a:
a) BA b) MBA c) Mouse.
4. The last book I read was:
a) Madame Bovary. b) How to Invest like Warren Buffett c) Windows 2000 for Dummies.
5. I go to the doctor:
a) Once a year. b) Once every two years. c) When I put my fist through the screen.
6. GE is a company that manufactures:
a) Paper b) Cowboys c) I have no idea but I just bought two hundred shares.
7. When I am in a bar and meet a beautiful woman/man who seems to be attracted to me, the first thing I look at is:
a) Her/his face b) Her/his body c) CNBC screen
8. Beating the spread refers to:
a) The way whipped cream cheese is made
b) The way Honduran peasant women clean their bed coverings
c) Don’t know/care.
9. P:E ratio means:
a) Something to do with, like, stocks and junk like that
b) The number of times an hour that a day trader has to use the bathroom
c) Like I care?
10. A tick is:
a) A nervous syndrome common to day traders
b) Something that often lives in a day trader’s hair
c) These questions are really starting to annoy me, dude!
If you answered (c) to any of the above questions ... Congratulations! You have what it takes to succeed
in the fast-paced, action-packed world of day trading!